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Green Forest



  • Writer's pictureJames Simson

How can Coaching help with low self-esteem?

Low self-esteem comes in many packages: addictions, self-negation, relationship failure, loneliness and a sense of personal worthlessness. One word for this is codependence, which is a set of behaviours by which a person tries to meet needs in ways that don’t meet needs. Often characterised as repeating the same thing over and over. When a client has that cheerless aha moment, and the penny begins to drop, he/she recognises that the same painful stuff is happening again and that it’s happened too often for it to be just dumb bad luck, sick of seeing the same disappointing theme played out.

The repeating pattern is what creates the opportunity to seek help and it is what the coaching will address. First session is beginning to find out what the client wants and doesn’t want.

One of my goals in coaching is to elicit the spirit of curiosity and responsibility in the client about his/her own motives, beliefs, values and behaviours. The coach asks about this and needs to be fearless. A good coach, once the coaching agreement is in place, will ask for accountability, and ask the difficult questions that even friends of many years would not ask of each other.

Coaching brings a fresh view to old problems and invites the client to witness their own thinking and behaviour in a way that suspends judgement. A kinder more constructive view of self and of others can emerge under these favourable conditions, and the coach will gently urge the client to engage in different behaviour towards him/herself. The results are incremental.

The Coach will witness the resistance to change, which can be frightening and will assist the client is using their own strengths to get out of his/her rut. This kind of change can shake things up and as the client starts to get more on board with him or herself, there can be a profound relief and renewed enthusiasm.

What the coach is doing is providing a workable model in the clients own language with which the client can identify the levers of change and use them to a more positive outcome.


Helping clients achieve greater understanding of themselves and their true value in order to build purposeful connected lives in times of profound change. Find out more >



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